People Skills 101 – Of Conversations in Distress

“What you need is some editorial skill in your expression. Between impulse and action, there is a realm of good taste begging to make your acquaintance!” -The Doctor, Star Trek Voyager

I have always enjoyed Robert Picardo’s character, largely for the way he words things and his quippy sense of humor. XD
As a motherly figure as well as a generally talkative person, i often end up being the person to listen to many a complaint from people. Many are simply complaints that i have learned to tolerate, and most are from people who are genuinely hurting. I am more than willing to listen and be understanding to both, and you should be as well. (Because of treating others as you would wish to be treated, in the interest of being loving and having friends and such; but that’s a different topic)
Today i’ve encountered quite the communication roadblock, where you just encounter those people who simply don’t want to be helped. They’re convinced nothing you can say will be of any help or use to them, and they’re not afraid to let you know that. They have a refute or an excuse for any help you offer, or encouraging comment (a refute they dont’ actually beleive, but that they wish you to counteract) and it’s quite a dizzying and frustrating process for both of you. It is at this point in time I’d greatly discourage conversation. When it deteriorates to the point that a person simply doesn’t wish help; they just want you to be as frustrated or upset as they are, it’s not worth it. Having two angry or hurting people solves nothing. Consulting another person outside the issue, especially while in the moment of distress or when it is hightened (i.e. late at night) serves to accomplish two purposes and those only:
1. to “vent” – get something out into the open so it’s not weighing on you, possibly gain advice and then MOVE ON from the situation. (not always a valid purpose for all circumstances, but a purpose nonetheless.)
2. to gain attention – While it usually starts out as simply a desire to be heard, loved or understood, it tends to develop negatively, typically resulting in driving the other individual in circles until they become as frustrated as you are.

People are important. So much in fact, that sometimes you need to let them know you love them, but there’s a time to quit the attention-seeking, face the music, and accept help. It’s okay not to be alright. It’s not okay to stay that way.

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