Hi friends. Meyla here, codename: jaykorhyen.
I told you all the story of Marth and i started dating, and i post “everyday” statuses that let you know what we’re up to.
But, I really need you all to understand something. When i met Marth, I knew he was something special. I couldn’t truly pinpoint concrete reasons why i thought this, except the obvious: He’s nice, he’s sweet, he looks out for me like a brother, most of all he’s very selfless when it comes to me; when it comes to everyone! But especially with me. He wasn’t clingy (aka he’s confident), he was 100% honest all the time, and most of all, he was human, and made me feel like i could be as well. Bible school was not really the optimal place to start dating; i’m truly glad we didn’t start dating/looking at eachother in a romantic sense sooner than we did. We became best friends first. I’m not just saying that cuz everyone says that; he literally was my best friend. On a day-to-day basis, there was no one i’d rather be with, at any point in time, even if we were just sitting up on the backboard of a basketball net, listening to music, being silent.
Our Island camp was a great place to start a romantic relationship, cuz, let’s be real, it was summer, and we were two best friends, together and in love. But we also really saw the realness of eachother that we didn’t before. We saw eachother tired, and angry, and hungry and irritable, and kinda smelly too, but we were also there to laugh and hug eachother when some of the most amazing things in our lives happened, and also when we needed someone to cry with at 2AM, or someone to talk with at 6AM.
Long distance for 8 months compounded that understanding. I especially had to learn to be understanding, and not jump to conclusions and give Marth the benefit of the doubt, even when he handled things differently than i would. In retrospect, i am so proud of him. He’s not a huge texter, or “keeper-in-touch” with people the way i am, probably because he values genuinity, and small-talk every couple months doesn’t really cut it for him with people. But he did a wonderful job.
I would strongly recommend long-distance, at some point in time for couples. I’m not sure exactly how you’d work it; maybe thru school or one moves to another state with relatives for 6 months to a year, because….Long distance killed one of my relationships, and it made another one the gem it is now. It will show you both who you are, i promise you.
On a somewhat related topic, Marth and I don’t believe in having sex before we’re married (we aren’t going to hate you if you don’t believe the same. We live our lives by a criteria that says that’s not best, so we won’t. No hate has entered the equation.) but that doesn’t stop us from having a ton of fun as we get to know eachother really well! You’d be amazed how much fun stuff there is to do, if you employ a little self-control, and focus on positives!
All this said, lots of crazy stuff happening as a couple is good. You’ll know. You’ll just know.
I also want to dispell a popular myth about relationships. My brother used to tell me he “knew a girl too well, to like her, LIKE THAT.” Like freaking what??? You are going to get naked with this person someday; do you not want it to be someone who knows you better than anyone else in the world and still loves you??? uuugh, that grinds my gears and just makes zero sense to me that people can think that they know someone too well to have a relationship with them, unless it’s cuz of something bad, that you know you can’t spend the rest of your life with. Know your limitations before you start dating, and don’t make petty things dealbreakers. You want someone to see your heart and the real “you”, your soul, for what it is. See them the same way. When you get that mutual view of eachother; two people who love eachother for their souls…it’s rare, but it happens. And you just want to spend the rest of your lives looking out for eachother. It’s MUTUAL. You have your own stuff; don’t link your facebooks or not allow eachother to get their own drinks when you go out to eat, that’s weird. 😛 But always be willing to share, and put eachother before yourself. You can trust, because the other person’s always got your back. Always. 🙂
(P.S – Culmination of all this good relationship stuff? You have a friend, who will strike silly, dramatic Avengers poses with you while you’re making cookies in your matching aprons and messy hair XD For the rest of your life!! It’s always a good time ^_^ )